Skin by: ~Lezzette~

This is my second term taking 3 classes, and I'm not doing too well at it still. I mean, yes I'm getting by but you can imagine it's not the greatest feeling even if you're "getting by".

For this semester I have Digital Imagining (Photoshop), Animation and Speech class. I love Animation, we're learning both traditional hand drawn and next week we start on computer animation. Photoshop class I use to like more when we started but..well there are only 4 students in the class, including myself. At first it was just 3, but then this guy got added on late.

First off, when it was just 3, there was just one girl that was kinda slow at understanding things, like steps he just went over. Now this 4th person, well, aside from anything he is weird. He always tells people to say "Jesus is Lord." Ok, good for you and your religion an all but obviously not all of us share the same belief, what if I was a Jewish person? But also he keeps saying I look "good" and that I should be a model. Sadly, I saw him today, when I have my animation class and he said "there's the would to be model"..WTF leave me alone creeper. I mean YES it's NICE, the first time..aka 5 times ago, now No.  So photoshop class is no longer fun..or even remotely..

Animation class is fun, it's interesting. I mean that's what I'm most interested in, and why I came to my school for. Sadly there's not much to do there, other then drawing and..honestly I don't know, it seems like the quickest class, even tough it's a Saturday morning, 8 o'clock class ._.

Speech..is speech.. -_-'
Of course I don't want to take it but I got to get it over with eventually, and luckily I know a fair amount of people, and actually two coworkers are even the same speech class with me. So I think that's as good as a Speech class can get o3o

BUT NOW, i heard that my school did not get approved for the California Grant for 2013-2014, which means unless i get loans or grants on my own, I'm going to have to pay out of pocket, meaning $300 a class upfront, for ONE class. There is no way I can afford that, I NEED help and even if i was able to pay it, I wouldn't want to, cuz I'm really starting to feel like I'm not learning what i want to be learning there now. I want to be an animator, but we only have one animation class, then the rest is typography and photoshop and sound and things, so I feel like I'm not getting what I need.
However, at the same time, even though I've been here for 2 years or so, I've been taking GE classes, and only 2 classes a term up till this January meaning I haven't really gotten too in-depth with my actual core classes, but I've been feeling this way for a good while now, probably a year now and it's just a giant pain and frustrating to think about it..

Because of all this stress and things going on, I've been acting out more at home. Even my relationship has been kinda rocky, cuz I'm just so focused on school. It's taken my boyfriend to tell me that I get upset easier, and yell more now. And we've almost broken up more than once since the term started 5-6 weeks ago, which doesn't help "put me at ease". Even now, I feel like I'm just making HIM miserable and putting all of MY worries on HIM specifically Because he is my boyfriend but we just don't have as much fun as we use to with just being with each other and at times I feel like I'm not even myself. Like there's two me's, and I don't remember the other me's life when i'm not THAT me.

*sign* I just..want things to be how they use to be I guess…or maybe that I had just gone to the Art Institute in the first place..